Milk Milk Lemonade » teacher http://www.milkmilklemonade.com Children's dirty schoolyard rhymes and jokes Mon, 06 Feb 2012 06:59:50 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Burning of the School http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2010/01/24/burning-of-the-school/ http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2010/01/24/burning-of-the-school/#comments Sun, 24 Jan 2010 17:00:13 +0000 admin http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/?p=252 Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school
We have tortured every teacher, we have broken every rule
Now we’re marching down to hang the principal
Our truth goes marching on

Glory, glory, hallelujah
Teacher hit me with a ruler
I hid behind the door with a loaded 44
And the teacher don’t teach no more.

-Trent Eades, These were learned while I was in grade school in Great Falls, Montana:
Circa fourth or fifth grade, 1973 or 1974

]]> http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2010/01/24/burning-of-the-school/feed/ 1 Marijuana, Marijuana http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2010/01/23/marijuana-marijuana/ http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2010/01/23/marijuana-marijuana/#comments Sat, 23 Jan 2010 17:00:27 +0000 admin http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/?p=250 Marijuana, Marijuana
LSD, LSD
Doctors make it
Teachers take it
Why can’t we?
Why can’t we?
-Trent Eades, These were learned while I was in grade school in Great Falls, Montana:
Circa second or third grade, around 1971 or 1972

]]> http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2010/01/23/marijuana-marijuana/feed/ 1 Joy to the World http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2010/01/23/joy-to-the-world-2/ http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2010/01/23/joy-to-the-world-2/#comments Sat, 23 Jan 2010 08:31:40 +0000 admin http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/?p=300 Sung to the tune of “Joy to the World”

Joy to the world, my teacher’s dead,
I bar-b-qued her head!
What happened to her body?
I flushed it down the potty,
and ’round and ’round it goes,
and ’round and ’round it goes,
and ‘rouu-uunnd and ‘rooounnd and ’round it goes!

Oklahoma City, circa 1989.

]]> http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2010/01/23/joy-to-the-world-2/feed/ 1 On top of old smokey http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2010/01/07/on-top-of-old-smokey/ http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2010/01/07/on-top-of-old-smokey/#comments Thu, 07 Jan 2010 17:00:11 +0000 admin http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/?p=217 On top of old smokey
all covered in blood
I shot I shot my poor teacher
with a 44 stud.

I went to her funeral
I went to her grave,
some people thew flowers
I threw hand granades.

She got up and chased
me so I cut off her head.
It rolled down the drive way
and into the street
and now all the cats
have something to eat.

-Marj Mears, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Circa Early ’90s

]]> http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2010/01/07/on-top-of-old-smokey/feed/ 1 More of Mary’s lamb http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2009/12/09/more-of-marys-lamb/ http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2009/12/09/more-of-marys-lamb/#comments Wed, 09 Dec 2009 10:21:53 +0000 admin http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/?p=173 Heard these on the playground in Julian California beginning in 1988. I think the Mary Little Lamb variation is from Mad Magazine

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB

Mary had a little lamb
Which fleeece was white as snow
and everywhere that Mary went
the lamb was sure to go.

Then one day the price of meat raised
which really didn’t please her
But tonight she’s having leg of lamb
and the rest is in the freezer

ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT

Row, Row, Row, your boat
Gently down the stream
Push your teacher over board
And listen to her scream

Five days later floating down the Delware
Chewing on her underwear
Couldn’t afford another pair

Ten days latter bitten by a polar bear
… Poor little polar bear died

]]> http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2009/12/09/more-of-marys-lamb/feed/ 0 A bunch of jumprope rhymes http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2009/12/08/a-bunch-of-jumprope-rhymes/ http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2009/12/08/a-bunch-of-jumprope-rhymes/#comments Wed, 09 Dec 2009 05:15:16 +0000 admin http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/?p=133 Fudge, fudge call the judge
Mama’s gonna have a baby
Wrap it toilet paper
Send it down the escalator
What’s it gonna be?
A boy, a girl, twins or triplets?
A boy, a girl, twins or triplets?
A boy, a girl, twins or triplets?

Cin-der-ella, hair of yella
Went upstairs to kiss a fella
How many kisses did she get?
one, two, three, four, etc

Wine, wine the goose drank wine
Monkey chewed tobacco on the street car line
Line broke, monkey got choked and
We all went to heaven in a little row boat
Clap hands

Ta-rah-rah-BOOM-dee-ay
There is no school today
We made the teacher pay
We threw her in the bay
She swam to Monterey
And bought a Chevrolet
And then she drove away
Ta-rah-rah-boom-dee-ay!
Ta-rah-rah-boom-dee-ay!
They took my pants away
They left me standing there
In just my underwear
-El Rayo X, Austin, Texas

]]> http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2009/12/08/a-bunch-of-jumprope-rhymes/feed/ 0 More glory http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2009/12/08/more-glory/ http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2009/12/08/more-glory/#comments Wed, 09 Dec 2009 05:04:55 +0000 admin http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/?p=114 glory, glory halelujah
teacher hit me with a ruler
i hid behind the door with a loaded .44
she ain’t my teacher no more.

—–

(sung to ‘On top of Old Smokey’)

On top of the school bus
all covered in blood
i shot my poor teacher with a .44 slug

i went to her funeral
i went to her grave
everybody threw flowers
i threw a grenade

and after the smoke cleared
she still wasn’t dead
i took my bazooka
and blew off her head

the police came and got me
they threw me in jail
so i took that bazooka
and blew them to hell

-Zach, Lubbock, TX

]]> http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2009/12/08/more-glory/feed/ 0 Joy to the world http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2009/12/08/joy-to-the-world/ http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2009/12/08/joy-to-the-world/#comments Wed, 09 Dec 2009 00:02:47 +0000 admin http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/?p=85 Joy to the World,
Our teacher’s dead.
We bar-be-cued her head!
What happened to the body?
We flushed it down the potty!
And round and round it goes,
and round and round it goes,
And round and round and round it goes!
-B. Punzlif, Florida

]]> http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2009/12/08/joy-to-the-world/feed/ 0 Burning of the school http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2009/12/08/burning-of-the-schoo/ http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2009/12/08/burning-of-the-schoo/#comments Tue, 08 Dec 2009 12:27:06 +0000 admin http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/?p=39 To the tune of Battle Hymn of the Republic:

My eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school.
We have tortured every teacher. We have broken every rule.
We have barbecued the principal and destroyed the PTA
Our school keeps burning on.
Glory, glory hallelujah
Teacher hit me with a ruler
I hid behind the door with a loaded .44
And my teacher ain’t teachin’ no more

There are more variations here:
Wikipedia
-Tom, Deerfield, Illinois

]]> http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2009/12/08/burning-of-the-schoo/feed/ 1