Math is like sex: Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and multiply! Submitted by Chris R – grade school around 1979-1984 in Reston, VA
Math is like sex: Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and multiply! Submitted by Chris R – grade school around 1979-1984 in Reston, VA
Eat me bite me blow me suck me fuck me very slowly If you want me don’t be hasty Lick your lips and make me tasty Jessica
Warning: This contains a racial slur which was meant to infer Jed’s racist mentality and hillbilly ignorance. Well, lemme’ tell ya story ’bout a man named Jed Born a motherfucker with a rubber on his head Then one day When he was shootin’ at some “Jews” (or “spooks”) Out from the barn comes Elly May [...]
Learned these from a retired Army dude. See that girl up on the hill? She won’t do it, but her sister will. See that girl all dressed in black? She makes her livin’ layin’ on her back. See that girl all dressed in pink? She done made my finger stink. She that girl all dressed [...]
Oh let me tell you a story about a man named Jed Took Mary Ellen and threw her on the bed Zipped down his pants, out came the worm Into her cunt went the bubbly sperm There is more to this one, I think, something about granny showing a two by four or something up [...]
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high undid his fly and asked Jill if she wanna, Jill said yes tore off her dress and they had some fun. Silly Jill forgot her Pill and now they have a son. -Jason, Canada
Let’s start the new year with an exceptionally dirty rhyme. Down by the cherry tree, that’s where she showed it to me, it was black, hairy, had a big crack, and it looked like a jungle to me. So I whipped out my hairy banana, shoved it up her crack, she let out a big [...]
Down the road came pistol paul pete 20 pounds of swinging meat down the road came mary brown she swore no man could lay her down pistol paul pete got her in the grass stuck his peter up her ass mary brown let a fart blew his peter half apart down the road came pistol [...]
Learned it in adulthood from my fiancee, actually, in Madison, WI. Good girls sit like this (fingers crossed, pointed down) Bad girls sit like this (fingers closed, side-by-side, pointed down) And girls who sit like this (fingers apart, pointed down) get this (middle finger up) like that (snap fingers) Kyle Madison
It’s a man’s obligation To stick his boneration In a woman’s separation. This sort of penetration Will increase the population Of the younger generation. -Jack, Staten Island, New York