Milk Milk Lemonade

Dirty children's schoolyard rhymes and jokes

 

Left and right

Posted on January 19th, 2010 by admin

When 3 people are walking down the street, the two on the outside have this exchange.
A: “Hey left nut…”
B: “Yeah, right nut?”
A: “Who’s the penis in between us?”
-Django, America
Circa 1987

Pile of shit

Posted on January 4th, 2010 by admin

Hold your mouth open from the sides using your fingers and say: I was born on a pirate ship
(Comes out: I was born on a pile of shit)
-Milena, Ontario

Pranks

Posted on December 8th, 2009 by admin

Q. What time is it?
A. Half past a monkey’s ass, quarter til his balls.
-Reed, Wyoming

Dogshit (not the Wu-Tang kind)

Posted on December 8th, 2009 by admin

This alternates between two people:
You: I 1 dogshit
Kid: I 2 dogshit
You: I 3 dogshit
Kid: I 4 dogshit
You: I 5 dogshit
Kid: I 6 dogshit
You: I 7 dogshit
Kid: I ate dogshit.
-Jack, Staten Island, New York

Pranks for kids

Posted on December 8th, 2009 by admin

Oh yeah…a cool trick to play on kids…
Q: What were you eating under there?
A: Huh? Under where?
Q: HAH-HAAAAH! You were eating underwear!!
ok one more…
Tell the kid, “When I say ‘I’m a gold lock’, you say ‘I’m a gold key’, and when I say ‘I’m a silver lock’ you say ‘I’m a silver key’, and so [...]

Old joke

Posted on December 8th, 2009 by admin

Open the door…
Take out a Coke…
Drink it…
Me Chinese/me play joke/me put peepee/in your coke.
-Harold, Louisiana

the penis joke

Posted on December 8th, 2009 by admin

The one playing the joke says a word, and the person they’re playing the joke on will say “I”, spell the word, then say “ness”
You: Cat.
Them: I c-a-t ness.
You: Pencil.
Them: I p-e-n-c-i-l ness.
You: Blue.
Them: I b-l-u-e ness.
You: Red.
Them: I r-e-d ness.
You: Map.
Them: I m-a-p ness.
-Liz, Media, PA

 
 
 

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