Milk Milk Lemonade » penis

Old McDonald and his other monkey wrench

admin — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 19:20:08 +0000

Old McDonald sittin’ on a fence
Pickin’ his dick with a monkey wrench
Wrench got hot
Burnt his balls
Pissed all over his overalls
If I die
Bury me
Hang my balls on a cherry tree
If they fall
Send them back
Send them back to Radio Shack!

Shana
San Mateo, CA circa 1989

Man from Nantucket

admin — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 17:00:44 +0000

there once was a man from nantucket,
his dick was so long he could suck it,
he said with a grin while scratching his chin,
if my ear was a cunt I could fuck it.
-Zach Finch

Man named Jed

admin — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 17:00:21 +0000

Oh let me tell you a story about a man named Jed
Took Mary Ellen and threw her on the bed
Zipped down his pants, out came the worm
Into her cunt went the bubbly sperm

There is more to this one, I think, something about granny showing a two by four or something up Jed’s ass … the punch line is “Sideways, that is…”

-Trent Eades, Great Falls, MT
Circa early to mid 70s I guess

Mean Motherfucker

admin — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 17:00:46 +0000

Apparently, racism wasn’t that big of a deal back in the ’80s.

I’m a mean motherfucker, I’m a jungle man
I’m walkin through the woods with my dick in my hand
I look up in a tree, what do I see
it’s a big fat nigger tryin to piss on me
so I bust out my glock
shot him in the cock
that damn nigger did a belly flop
then I jumped in my jeep and slammed on the gas
and ran right over that fat nigger’s ass

-Mike, Idaho
Circa mid-’80s

Broken dick

admin — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 17:00:36 +0000

Walkin down the halls
scratchin my balls
my dick got caught in the elevator walls
my sister screamed
my dick turned green
that was the end of my little ding a ling
I called the doctor, the doctor said
sorry son but your dick is dead
-Mike, Idaho

Ronald Regan

admin — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 17:00:47 +0000

Old Ronnie Reagan was a good old man.
He washed his face with a frying pan.
He jumped out the window with his dick in his hand
Saying “Hey motherfuckers, I’m Superman!”
-J. Rose, Philadelphia, PA,
Circa 1984

Abe Lincoln

admin — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 17:00:03 +0000

Abraham Lincoln was a good old man
jumped out the window with his dick in his hand.
Said excuse me ladies just doin my duty
so pull down your pants and give me some booty.
-Hank, MO

Down by the cherry tree

admin — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 17:00:51 +0000

Let’s start the new year with an exceptionally dirty rhyme.

Down by the cherry tree,
that’s where she showed it to me,
it was black, hairy, had a big crack,
and it looked like a jungle to me.

So I whipped out my hairy banana,
shoved it up her crack,
she let out a big scream,
then I filled it with whip cream.

-S D
Circa 1980s

Poor Pistol Paul Pete

admin — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 20:34:18 +0000

Down the road came pistol paul pete
20 pounds of swinging meat

down the road came mary brown
she swore no man could lay her down

pistol paul pete got her in the grass
stuck his peter up her ass

mary brown let a fart
blew his peter half apart

down the road came pistol paul pete
20 pounds of shreded meat

Submitted by Kathie

Whistle while you work

admin — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 17:00:02 +0000

Whistle while you work
Hitler was a jerk
Mussolini bit his weenie
now it doesn’t work
-Jody, Newton, MA