Milk Milk Lemonade » parody

Barney poem

admin — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 10:17:33 +0000

I love you, you love me
You can contact my attorney
‘Cause I’m worth millions
And if you want a cut
You can kiss my purple butt.

- Heard several years ago in Bellingham, WA, at a party, I think.

Man named Jed

admin — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 17:00:21 +0000

Oh let me tell you a story about a man named Jed
Took Mary Ellen and threw her on the bed
Zipped down his pants, out came the worm
Into her cunt went the bubbly sperm

There is more to this one, I think, something about granny showing a two by four or something up Jed’s ass … the punch line is “Sideways, that is…”

-Trent Eades, Great Falls, MT
Circa early to mid 70s I guess

Twink! John’s a fairy!

admin — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 17:00:53 +0000

(sung to the tune of “Pop goes the Weasel”)
Oh, John [or whomever you were insulting] doesn’t go out with girls no more
He thinks he’ll never get married
He stays at home and plays with himself
Twink! John’s a fairy!

-Trent Eades, These were learned while I was in grade school in Great Falls, Montana:
Circa This one I learned in 10th grade, around 1977

On Top Of Old Smoky again

admin — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 17:00:58 +0000

On top of old Smoky
All covered with sand
I shot my true love
with a red rubber band
I shot her with care
I shot her with pride
Who could have missed her,
She was forty feet wide
I went to her funeral
I went to her grave
While the others threw flowers
I through hand grenades.

-Trent Eades, These were learned while I was in grade school in Great Falls, Montana:
Circa third of fourth grade, 1973 or 1974

Burning of the School

admin — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 17:00:13 +0000

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school
We have tortured every teacher, we have broken every rule
Now we’re marching down to hang the principal
Our truth goes marching on

Glory, glory, hallelujah
Teacher hit me with a ruler
I hid behind the door with a loaded 44
And the teacher don’t teach no more.

-Trent Eades, These were learned while I was in grade school in Great Falls, Montana:
Circa fourth or fifth grade, 1973 or 1974

Joy to the World

admin — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 08:31:40 +0000

Sung to the tune of “Joy to the World”

Joy to the world, my teacher’s dead,
I bar-b-qued her head!
What happened to her body?
I flushed it down the potty,
and ’round and ’round it goes,
and ’round and ’round it goes,
and ‘rouu-uunnd and ‘rooounnd and ’round it goes!

Oklahoma City, circa 1989.

Jill, you tart!

admin — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 08:26:08 +0000

Jack and Jill went up the hill each with a buck and a quarter.
Jill came down with two fifty.

raleigh n c 1985

Jack and Jill

admin — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 17:00:45 +0000

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high undid his fly and asked Jill if she wanna,
Jill said yes tore off her dress and they had some fun.
Silly Jill forgot her Pill and now they have a son.
-Jason, Canada

Ronald Regan

admin — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 17:00:47 +0000

Old Ronnie Reagan was a good old man.
He washed his face with a frying pan.
He jumped out the window with his dick in his hand
Saying “Hey motherfuckers, I’m Superman!”
-J. Rose, Philadelphia, PA,
Circa 1984

Abe Lincoln

admin — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 17:00:03 +0000

Abraham Lincoln was a good old man
jumped out the window with his dick in his hand.
Said excuse me ladies just doin my duty
so pull down your pants and give me some booty.
-Hank, MO