Milk Milk Lemonade » parody

Various Rhymes

admin — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 20:07:33 +0000

I hate you
You hate me
Let’s team up and kill Barney
With a 45 and a shot right to his head
We’re so glad that Barney’s dead

Deck the halls with gasoline
Light a match and watch it gleam
Watch your school burn down to ashes
Ain’t you glad you played with matches

I’m popeye the sailor man
I live in a garbage can
I turned on the gas and burnt off my ass
I’m popeye the sailor man

Suffocation mass asphyxiation
Suffocation that’s the game we play
Put a bag over your head
Tie it up, now you’re dead
Ohhh

Be all that you can be
Get a messed up life and an ugly wife
In the army

Jessica – Old Bethpage,NY middle school early 90s

Spike Milligan says…

admin — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 19:45:40 +0000

Said Hamlet to Ophelia,
I’ll draw a sketch of thee,
What kind of pencil shall I use?
2B or not 2B?

Submitted by Dermot

Man Named Jed

admin — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 06:02:32 +0000

Warning: This contains a racial slur which was meant to infer Jed’s racist mentality and hillbilly ignorance.

Well, lemme’ tell ya story
’bout a man named Jed
Born a motherfucker
with a rubber on his head

Then one day
When he was shootin’
at some “Jews” (or “spooks”)
Out from the barn comes Elly May nude
Nude that is, no clothes on

Next thing ya know
Old Jed’s sittin’ there
Suckin’ on her tits
and pullin’ on her hair

Down goes the zipper
and out comes the worm
Out from the worm
Cums a bubblin’ sperm
Sperm that is, wet dream

~Buffalo Grove, IL

Barney poem

admin — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 10:17:33 +0000

I love you, you love me
You can contact my attorney
‘Cause I’m worth millions
And if you want a cut
You can kiss my purple butt.

- Heard several years ago in Bellingham, WA, at a party, I think.

Man named Jed

admin — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 17:00:21 +0000

Oh let me tell you a story about a man named Jed
Took Mary Ellen and threw her on the bed
Zipped down his pants, out came the worm
Into her cunt went the bubbly sperm

There is more to this one, I think, something about granny showing a two by four or something up Jed’s ass … the punch line is “Sideways, that is…”

-Trent Eades, Great Falls, MT
Circa early to mid 70s I guess

Twink! John’s a fairy!

admin — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 17:00:53 +0000

(sung to the tune of “Pop goes the Weasel”)
Oh, John [or whomever you were insulting] doesn’t go out with girls no more
He thinks he’ll never get married
He stays at home and plays with himself
Twink! John’s a fairy!

-Trent Eades, These were learned while I was in grade school in Great Falls, Montana:
Circa This one I learned in 10th grade, around 1977

On Top Of Old Smoky again

admin — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 17:00:58 +0000

On top of old Smoky
All covered with sand
I shot my true love
with a red rubber band
I shot her with care
I shot her with pride
Who could have missed her,
She was forty feet wide
I went to her funeral
I went to her grave
While the others threw flowers
I through hand grenades.

-Trent Eades, These were learned while I was in grade school in Great Falls, Montana:
Circa third of fourth grade, 1973 or 1974

Burning of the School

admin — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 17:00:13 +0000

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school
We have tortured every teacher, we have broken every rule
Now we’re marching down to hang the principal
Our truth goes marching on

Glory, glory, hallelujah
Teacher hit me with a ruler
I hid behind the door with a loaded 44
And the teacher don’t teach no more.

-Trent Eades, These were learned while I was in grade school in Great Falls, Montana:
Circa fourth or fifth grade, 1973 or 1974

Joy to the World

admin — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 08:31:40 +0000

Sung to the tune of “Joy to the World”

Joy to the world, my teacher’s dead,
I bar-b-qued her head!
What happened to her body?
I flushed it down the potty,
and ’round and ’round it goes,
and ’round and ’round it goes,
and ‘rouu-uunnd and ‘rooounnd and ’round it goes!

Oklahoma City, circa 1989.

Jill, you tart!

admin — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 08:26:08 +0000

Jack and Jill went up the hill each with a buck and a quarter.
Jill came down with two fifty.

raleigh n c 1985