The train came by the shit flew high
and hit the conductor right in the eye.

I had a little monkey I sent him to the country
fed him on a loaf of gingerbread.
Ziffo! Zafffo! kicked him in the asshole
now my monkeys dead.

PGA Crete, Illinois

Cin-der-ella, hair of yella
Went upstairs to kiss a fella
How many kisses did she get?
one, two, three, four, etc

Wine, wine the goose drank wine
Monkey chewed tobacco on the street car line
Line broke, monkey got choked and
We all went to heaven in a little row boat
Clap hands

Ta-rah-rah-BOOM-dee-ay
There is no school today
We made the teacher pay
We threw her in the bay
She swam to Monterey
And bought a Chevrolet
And then she drove away
Ta-rah-rah-boom-dee-ay!
Ta-rah-rah-boom-dee-ay!
They took my pants away
They left me standing there
In just my underwear
-El Rayo X, Austin, Texas

ok one more…

Tell the kid, “When I say ‘I’m a gold lock’, you say ‘I’m a gold key’, and when I say ‘I’m a silver lock’ you say ‘I’m a silver key’, and so on. Got it?”

The kid says “Yes”.

You: “I’m a gold lock.”
Kid: “I’m a gold key.”
You: “I’m a silver lock.”
Kid: “I’m a silver key.”
You: “I’m a brass lock.”
Kid: “I’m a brass key.”
You: “I’m a mung lock.”
Kid: “I’m a monkey.”
(can be done with “Dong lock” as well)

-Matt Rosemier from Edible Dirt

Many variations exist. “[your name here]’s Made of greasy, grimy…”, “chopped up liver meat” instead of “dead baby parakeets”, “french-fried eyeballs boiled in a pot of beans” instead of the second-to-last line, “oops, I forgot my spoon.”
-A. Robbins, Oklahoma