I had a little dog his name was Jack.
He shit all over the railroad track.
The train came by the shit flew high
and hit the conductor right in the eye.
I had a little monkey I sent him to the country
fed him on a loaf of gingerbread.
Ziffo! Zafffo! kicked him in the asshole
now my monkeys dead.
PGA Crete, [...]
Q. What time is it?
A. Half past a monkey’s ass, quarter til his balls.
-Reed, Wyoming
Fudge, fudge call the judge
Mama’s gonna have a baby
Wrap it toilet paper
Send it down the escalator
What’s it gonna be?
A boy, a girl, twins or triplets?
A boy, a girl, twins or triplets?
A boy, a girl, twins or triplets?
Cin-der-ella, hair of yella
Went upstairs to kiss a fella
How many kisses did she get?
one, two, three, four, etc
Wine, wine [...]
Old McDonald sitting on a fence
picking his balls with a monkey wrench
he went to the doctor and the doctor said
oh my gosh your balls are dead
-BHARATHI GOWDA
Oh yeah…a cool trick to play on kids…
Q: What were you eating under there?
A: Huh? Under where?
Q: HAH-HAAAAH! You were eating underwear!!
ok one more…
Tell the kid, “When I say ‘I’m a gold lock’, you say ‘I’m a gold key’, and when I say ‘I’m a silver lock’ you say ‘I’m a silver key’, and so [...]
Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts
mutiliated monkey meat
dirty little birdy’s feet
lukewarm vomit floatin’ down the avenue
don’t you wish you had a spoon…. or even a straw
-S. Edmonds, Larned, KS
Great big globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Dead baby parakeets
Great big globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
And me without my spoon
Many variations exist. “[your name here]’s Made of greasy, grimy…”, “chopped up liver meat” instead of “dead baby parakeets”, “french-fried eyeballs boiled in a pot of beans” instead of the second-to-last line, “oops, [...]
What are you going to do for a face when the monkey wants his bum back?
-A. Nonymous, England
