Milk Milk Lemonade » mary http://www.milkmilklemonade.com Children's dirty schoolyard rhymes and jokes Mon, 06 Feb 2012 06:59:50 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 More of Mary’s lamb http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2009/12/09/more-of-marys-lamb/ http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2009/12/09/more-of-marys-lamb/#comments Wed, 09 Dec 2009 10:21:53 +0000 admin http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/?p=173 Heard these on the playground in Julian California beginning in 1988. I think the Mary Little Lamb variation is from Mad Magazine

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB

Mary had a little lamb
Which fleeece was white as snow
and everywhere that Mary went
the lamb was sure to go.

Then one day the price of meat raised
which really didn’t please her
But tonight she’s having leg of lamb
and the rest is in the freezer

ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT

Row, Row, Row, your boat
Gently down the stream
Push your teacher over board
And listen to her scream

Five days later floating down the Delware
Chewing on her underwear
Couldn’t afford another pair

Ten days latter bitten by a polar bear
… Poor little polar bear died

]]> http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2009/12/09/more-of-marys-lamb/feed/ 0 Mary and her little lamb http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2009/12/08/mary-and-her-little-lamb/ http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2009/12/08/mary-and-her-little-lamb/#comments Wed, 09 Dec 2009 05:10:27 +0000 admin http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/?p=124 this aint really a kid’s rhyme, and it’s unattributed by the source I got it from sclerotic-rings.livejournal.com, but this seems kind of appropriate anyhow…

“Mary had a little lamb,
A lobster and some prunes,
A slice of cake, a piece of pie,
And then some macaroons.
It made the naughty waiters grin
To see her order so,
And when they carried Mary out
Her face was white as snow.”

-Matt Rosemier from Edible Dirt

]]> http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2009/12/08/mary-and-her-little-lamb/feed/ 0 Goodies from the UK http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2009/12/08/goodies-from-the-uk/ http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/2009/12/08/goodies-from-the-uk/#comments Wed, 09 Dec 2009 05:02:50 +0000 admin http://www.milkmilklemonade.com/?p=110 some of these are gloriously rude!

(to the tune of my bonnie lies over the ocean)

my 1-skin lies over my 2-skin,
my 2-skin lies over my 3
my 3-skin lies over my foreskin,
so pull back my foreskin for me.

pull back, pull back,
pull back my foreskin for me, for me
pull back, pull back,
oh pull back my foreskin for me.

—–

there was an engineer before he died,
whose wife was never satisfied.
so he built a great big wheel,
2 balls of brass and a prick of steel.

round and round went the great big wheel,
in and out went the prick of steel.
‘ til the balls of brass were filled with cream,
and the whole fucking lot was driven by steam.

‘ enough enough ‘ the maiden cried,
‘ at last , at last , i’m satisfied ‘
but now we come to the bit of it !
there was no way of stopping it !
the maiden was ripped from arse to tit
and the whole fucking lot was covered in shit.

—–

whirly whirly custard,
snot and bogey pie,
all mixed up with a dead dog’s eye.
spread it on bread,
spread it on thick,
then wash it all down with a cup of cold sick.

a bit rude, but hey we were 10 years old..and we had heard it all before.

—–

mary had a little lamb,
she couldn’t stop it grunting.
she took it down the garden path
and kicked its little cunt in.

—–

captain cook, slung his hook,
floating down the river.
he caught his cock on a jagged rock,
and it made his arsehole quiver.

—–

there was an old woman from ealing,
who had a peculiar feeling.
she laid on her back , opened her crack
and pissed all over the ceiling

—–

she was only a fishmonger’s daughter,
but she laid on her back and said ‘fillet’

—–

she was only a mechanic’s daughter,
but the nut that screwed her, bolted!

-bill greg, ashford, uk

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