Milk Milk Lemonade » gun

Man Named Jed

admin — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 06:02:32 +0000

Warning: This contains a racial slur which was meant to infer Jed’s racist mentality and hillbilly ignorance.

Well, lemme’ tell ya story
’bout a man named Jed
Born a motherfucker
with a rubber on his head

Then one day
When he was shootin’
at some “Jews” (or “spooks”)
Out from the barn comes Elly May nude
Nude that is, no clothes on

Next thing ya know
Old Jed’s sittin’ there
Suckin’ on her tits
and pullin’ on her hair

Down goes the zipper
and out comes the worm
Out from the worm
Cums a bubblin’ sperm
Sperm that is, wet dream

~Buffalo Grove, IL

Burning of the School

admin — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 17:00:13 +0000

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school
We have tortured every teacher, we have broken every rule
Now we’re marching down to hang the principal
Our truth goes marching on

Glory, glory, hallelujah
Teacher hit me with a ruler
I hid behind the door with a loaded 44
And the teacher don’t teach no more.

-Trent Eades, These were learned while I was in grade school in Great Falls, Montana:
Circa fourth or fifth grade, 1973 or 1974

Mean Motherfucker

admin — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 17:00:46 +0000

Apparently, racism wasn’t that big of a deal back in the ’80s.

I’m a mean motherfucker, I’m a jungle man
I’m walkin through the woods with my dick in my hand
I look up in a tree, what do I see
it’s a big fat nigger tryin to piss on me
so I bust out my glock
shot him in the cock
that damn nigger did a belly flop
then I jumped in my jeep and slammed on the gas
and ran right over that fat nigger’s ass

-Mike, Idaho
Circa mid-’80s

On top of old smokey

admin — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 17:00:11 +0000

On top of old smokey
all covered in blood
I shot I shot my poor teacher
with a 44 stud.

I went to her funeral
I went to her grave,
some people thew flowers
I threw hand granades.

She got up and chased
me so I cut off her head.
It rolled down the drive way
and into the street
and now all the cats
have something to eat.

-Marj Mears, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Circa Early ’90s

This land is my land

admin — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 17:03:27 +0000

This land is my land
This land’s not your land.
I got a shot gun
and you ain’t got one
If you don’t get off
I’ll blow your head off
This land is private property.
-Zoli Nazaari-Uebele, Orange County, CA

More glory

admin — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 05:04:55 +0000

glory, glory halelujah
teacher hit me with a ruler
i hid behind the door with a loaded .44
she ain’t my teacher no more.

—–

(sung to ‘On top of Old Smokey’)

On top of the school bus
all covered in blood
i shot my poor teacher with a .44 slug

i went to her funeral
i went to her grave
everybody threw flowers
i threw a grenade

and after the smoke cleared
she still wasn’t dead
i took my bazooka
and blew off her head

the police came and got me
they threw me in jail
so i took that bazooka
and blew them to hell

-Zach, Lubbock, TX

Burning of the school

admin — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 12:27:06 +0000

To the tune of Battle Hymn of the Republic:

My eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school.
We have tortured every teacher. We have broken every rule.
We have barbecued the principal and destroyed the PTA
Our school keeps burning on.
Glory, glory hallelujah
Teacher hit me with a ruler
I hid behind the door with a loaded .44
And my teacher ain’t teachin’ no more

There are more variations here:
Wikipedia
-Tom, Deerfield, Illinois