On top of old Smoky
All covered with sand
I shot my true love
with a red rubber band
I shot her with care
I shot her with pride
Who could have missed her,
She was forty feet wide
I went to her funeral
I went to her grave
While the others threw flowers
I through hand grenades.
-Trent Eades, These were learned while I was in [...]
I had a little dog his name was Jack.
He shit all over the railroad track.
The train came by the shit flew high
and hit the conductor right in the eye.
I had a little monkey I sent him to the country
fed him on a loaf of gingerbread.
Ziffo! Zafffo! kicked him in the asshole
now my monkeys dead.
PGA Crete, [...]
Walkin down the halls
scratchin my balls
my dick got caught in the elevator walls
my sister screamed
my dick turned green
that was the end of my little ding a ling
I called the doctor, the doctor said
sorry son but your dick is dead
-Mike, Idaho
On top of old smokey
all covered in blood
I shot I shot my poor teacher
with a 44 stud.
I went to her funeral
I went to her grave,
some people thew flowers
I threw hand granades.
She got up and chased
me so I cut off her head.
It rolled down the drive way
and into the street
and now all the cats
have something to [...]
this aint really a kid’s rhyme, and it’s unattributed by the source I got it from sclerotic-rings.livejournal.com, but this seems kind of appropriate anyhow…
“Mary had a little lamb,
A lobster and some prunes,
A slice of cake, a piece of pie,
And then some macaroons.
It made the naughty waiters grin
To see her order so,
And when they carried Mary [...]
some of these are gloriously rude!
(to the tune of my bonnie lies over the ocean)
my 1-skin lies over my 2-skin,
my 2-skin lies over my 3
my 3-skin lies over my foreskin,
so pull back my foreskin for me.
pull back, pull back,
pull back my foreskin for me, for me
pull back, pull back,
oh pull back my foreskin for me.
—–
there [...]
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the lord
he can barely round the mountain in his green and yellow ford
with one hand on the throttle and the other on the bottle
he’ll kill his damn self yet
chorus
gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die
gory, gory what a hell of a way [...]
Copenhagen is falling, hurrah, hurrah
Copenhagen is falling, hurrah
And all of the people
Went up in the steeple
To spit on the people below
(in German accent): Ahhhh, vimen Ah-men Ahh-tiller, August, September, October No-vunder we are sober We ain’t got no beer
My little brother Heinrich Was out the window looking Inward-outward looking He saw a tree there standing [...]
When I’m dead burry me, hang my balls on a cherry tree.
When they’re ripe, take a bite, don’t blame me if you puke all night.
-Simon Chan
