I love you, you love me
You can contact my attorney
‘Cause I’m worth millions
And if you want a cut
You can kiss my purple butt.
- Heard several years ago in Bellingham, WA, at a party, I think.
I love you, you love me
You can contact my attorney
‘Cause I’m worth millions
And if you want a cut
You can kiss my purple butt.
- Heard several years ago in Bellingham, WA, at a party, I think.
Abraham Lincoln was a good old man
jumped out the window with his dick in his hand.
Said excuse me ladies just doin my duty
so pull down your pants and give me some booty.
-Hank, MO
Down the road came pistol paul pete
20 pounds of swinging meat
down the road came mary brown
she swore no man could lay her down
pistol paul pete got her in the grass
stuck his peter up her ass
mary brown let a fart
blew his peter half apart
down the road came pistol paul pete
20 pounds of shreded meat
Submitted by Kathie
Q. What time is it?
A. Half past a monkey’s ass, quarter til his balls.
-Reed, Wyoming
Smokey the Bear,
You better comb your hair,
Or people come along
And strip you bare.
Have a beer,
Or kiss my rear!
Hey Smokey the Bear
You better comb your hair,
Or put on a hat,
Cause you look so fat…
And chubby,
And chubby,
And chu-u-u-ubby!
-Andy Faust
some of these are gloriously rude!
(to the tune of my bonnie lies over the ocean)
my 1-skin lies over my 2-skin,
my 2-skin lies over my 3
my 3-skin lies over my foreskin,
so pull back my foreskin for me.
pull back, pull back,
pull back my foreskin for me, for me
pull back, pull back,
oh pull back my foreskin for me.
—–
there [...]
The angle of the dangle
Is directly proportional
To the heat of the meat
Over the mass of the ass
Times the stink of the pink
-B. Punzlif, Florida
Miss Mary had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell;
Miss Mary went to Heaven, the steamboat went to…
Hello operator, just give me number nine;
And if you disconnect me, I’ll chop off your…
Behind the ‘frigerator, there was a pice of glass.
Miss Mary sat upon it and cut her little… Ask me no more questions, I’ll tell [...]
Hi ho, hi ho
It’s off to school we go
We sat in the back to see her crack
Hi ho, hi ho, hi ho, hi ho
Hi ho, hi ho
It’s off to school we go
We sat in the front to see her cunt
Hi ho, hi ho, hi ho, hi ho
-Thomas S. (AKA Dutchman), Brooklyn,NY
Yankee Doodle went to town
Riding on a rocket
stuck a feather up his butt
and called it Hershey chocolate
-Justin V.H., Cottage Grove, MN