Milk Milk Lemonade » Miscellaneous

Sex and math

admin — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 19:48:38 +0000

Math is like sex: Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and multiply!

Submitted by Chris R – grade school around 1979-1984 in Reston, VA

Yearbook quote

admin — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 19:47:31 +0000

Remember Grant, remember Lee. The hell with them, remember me.

Submitted by Chris R – grade school around 1979-1984 in Reston, VA

Dandilion game

admin — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 17:00:08 +0000

And then there was this silly thing we used to do when we were kids: You take a dandelion and hold it in your hand with your thumb “cocked” underneath the flower head. Then you say, “MOMMA HAD A BABY AND ITS HEAD POPPED OFF!” popping the flowerhead up in the air with your thumb just as you say “head,” with emphasis on that word.
-Anon, Bellingham, WA

Definitions

admin — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 17:00:36 +0000

What’s the definition of pain? Sliding down a razor blade and falling into a pool of iodine
What’s the definition of gross? A baby after two minutes in a microwave
(Also, “What’s the definition of stupid? Two bald men fighting over a comb” but that’s not a funny
-Milena, Ontario

Ding Dong

admin — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 17:00:01 +0000

this is my first dirty joke ever, that i learned in kindergarten in Greenbush, ME, which at the time i found quite hilarious because it contained the word “ding dong”

Tigers have stripes all the way to their
Ding Dong! Avon lady calling!
-Jody, Newton, MA

Girls who sit like this…

admin — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 10:18:43 +0000

Learned it in adulthood from my fiancee, actually, in Madison, WI.

Good girls sit like this (fingers crossed, pointed down)
Bad girls sit like this (fingers closed, side-by-side, pointed down)
And girls who sit like this (fingers apart, pointed down)
get this (middle finger up)
like that (snap fingers)

Kyle
Madison

Whoever denied it…

admin — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 12:03:11 +0000

Who ever denied it, supplied it.
-Thomas S. (AKA Dutchman), NY

Smelt it, dealt it

admin — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 12:02:00 +0000

Whoever smelt it dealt it
-Django, US

Through the tube

admin — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 12:01:38 +0000

Through the tube and out your boob.
-Reed, Wyoming