And then there was this silly thing we used to do when we were kids: You take a dandelion and hold it in your hand with your thumb “cocked” underneath the flower head. Then you say, “MOMMA HAD A BABY AND ITS HEAD POPPED OFF!” popping the flowerhead up in the air with your thumb [...]
What’s the definition of pain? Sliding down a razor blade and falling into a pool of iodine
What’s the definition of gross? A baby after two minutes in a microwave
(Also, “What’s the definition of stupid? Two bald men fighting over a comb” but that’s not a funny
-Milena, Ontario
this is my first dirty joke ever, that i learned in kindergarten in Greenbush, ME, which at the time i found quite hilarious because it contained the word “ding dong”
Tigers have stripes all the way to their
Ding Dong! Avon lady calling!
-Jody, Newton, MA
Learned it in adulthood from my fiancee, actually, in Madison, WI.
Good girls sit like this (fingers crossed, pointed down)
Bad girls sit like this (fingers closed, side-by-side, pointed down)
And girls who sit like this (fingers apart, pointed down)
get this (middle finger up)
like that (snap fingers)
Kyle
Madison
Who ever denied it, supplied it.
-Thomas S. (AKA Dutchman), NY
Whoever smelt it dealt it
-Django, US
Through the tube and out your boob.
-Reed, Wyoming
