Math is like sex: Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and multiply! Submitted by Chris R – grade school around 1979-1984 in Reston, VA
Math is like sex: Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and multiply! Submitted by Chris R – grade school around 1979-1984 in Reston, VA
Remember Grant, remember Lee. The hell with them, remember me. Submitted by Chris R – grade school around 1979-1984 in Reston, VA
And then there was this silly thing we used to do when we were kids: You take a dandelion and hold it in your hand with your thumb “cocked” underneath the flower head. Then you say, “MOMMA HAD A BABY AND ITS HEAD POPPED OFF!” popping the flowerhead up in the air with your thumb [...]
What’s the definition of pain? Sliding down a razor blade and falling into a pool of iodine What’s the definition of gross? A baby after two minutes in a microwave (Also, “What’s the definition of stupid? Two bald men fighting over a comb” but that’s not a funny -Milena, Ontario
this is my first dirty joke ever, that i learned in kindergarten in Greenbush, ME, which at the time i found quite hilarious because it contained the word “ding dong” Tigers have stripes all the way to their Ding Dong! Avon lady calling! -Jody, Newton, MA
Learned it in adulthood from my fiancee, actually, in Madison, WI. Good girls sit like this (fingers crossed, pointed down) Bad girls sit like this (fingers closed, side-by-side, pointed down) And girls who sit like this (fingers apart, pointed down) get this (middle finger up) like that (snap fingers) Kyle Madison
Who ever denied it, supplied it. -Thomas S. (AKA Dutchman), NY
Whoever smelt it dealt it -Django, US
Through the tube and out your boob. -Reed, Wyoming