U-G-L-Y You ain’t got no alibi you ugly what what you ugly M-A-M-A How you think you got that way yo mama what what yo mama -Laurence Holliman, Mound Bayou, MS Circa elementary school
U-G-L-Y You ain’t got no alibi you ugly what what you ugly M-A-M-A How you think you got that way yo mama what what yo mama -Laurence Holliman, Mound Bayou, MS Circa elementary school
Lincoln, Lincoln I’ve been thinkin’ What the heck have you been drinkin’ Looks like water, tastes like wine oh my gosh its turpintine -Joe Geraci, Portsmouth, NH
Old McDonald sittin’ on a fence Pickin’ his dick with a monkey wrench Wrench got hot Burnt his balls Pissed all over his overalls If I die Bury me Hang my balls on a cherry tree If they fall Send them back Send them back to Radio Shack! Shana San Mateo, CA circa 1989
there once was a man from nantucket, his dick was so long he could suck it, he said with a grin while scratching his chin, if my ear was a cunt I could fuck it. -Zach Finch
Oh let me tell you a story about a man named Jed Took Mary Ellen and threw her on the bed Zipped down his pants, out came the worm Into her cunt went the bubbly sperm There is more to this one, I think, something about granny showing a two by four or something up [...]
McDonalds is your kind of place They serve you rattle snakes Hamburgers up the nose French fries between the toes And the last time I was there They served my underwear McDonalds is your kind of place -Trent Eades, These were learned while I was in grade school in Great Falls, Montana: Circa Around fourth [...]
Pepsi Cola hits the spot Looks like vinegar Tastes like snot Twice as much for a nickel too That’s what Pepsi does for you. -Trent Eades, These were learned while I was in grade school in Great Falls, Montana: Circa Around fourth grade, 1972
(sung to the tune of “Pop goes the Weasel”) Oh, John [or whomever you were insulting] doesn’t go out with girls no more He thinks he’ll never get married He stays at home and plays with himself Twink! John’s a fairy! -Trent Eades, These were learned while I was in grade school in Great Falls, [...]
On top of old Smoky All covered with sand I shot my true love with a red rubber band I shot her with care I shot her with pride Who could have missed her, She was forty feet wide I went to her funeral I went to her grave While the others threw flowers I [...]
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school We have tortured every teacher, we have broken every rule Now we’re marching down to hang the principal Our truth goes marching on Glory, glory, hallelujah Teacher hit me with a ruler I hid behind the door with a loaded 44 And the [...]