Milk Milk Lemonade

Children's dirty schoolyard rhymes and jokes

 

Woke Up This Mornin’

Posted on January 7th, 2015 by admin

CapnPseudo says, “I learned this from my father when I was a kid, and apparently it was something kids sang in his elementary sometime in the early 70’s.”

When I woke up this mornin’,
I looked upon the wall,
the boogies and the bedbugs
were playing a game of ball.

The score was 6 to nothing,
The boogies were ahead,
The bedbugs knocked a homer
and knocked me out of bed

When I woke up this mornin’,
the coffe was so stale,
It tasted like tobac-y juice
‘right outta the garbage pale.

The Indian rubber beefsteak,
The insulated cheese,
the weenies took a flip-flop
and landed in the peas.

Shut Up

Posted on January 7th, 2015 by admin

Shut don’t go up, prices do,
take my advice and fuck-off you.
Michele in Kentucky.
Heard in the 1970s.

What’s Grosser than Gross?

Posted on May 2nd, 2014 by admin

Don’t know if these have been brought up yet, but there were many of them. They began: “What’s grosser than gross?” When your audience said they didn’t know, you offered them a disgusting situation.

The only one I remember off the top of my head is:

What’s grosser than gross?

When you’re eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes and your brother says he can’t find his scab collection.

Very popular in Olympia, WA during the 80’s

Asshole

Posted on March 13th, 2014 by admin

Art learned this in grade school in Vancouver.

Asshole, asshole, A soldier I will be;
To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee;
I fight for my cunt, I fight for my cunt,
I fight for my country!

Red hot shit

Posted on March 12th, 2014 by admin

Connie says, here’s one we all sang it in third grade, like 1978 (sung to the TV show theme tune):

The Addams family started
when Uncle Fester farted
They all came out retarded
The Addams Family!

Popeye the sailor man

Posted on March 10th, 2014 by admin

Connie sends this in from her stoner cousins in the ’70s.

I’m popeye the Sailor Man
I live in a garbage can
I turned on the gas
and I burned my ass
I’m Popeye the Sailor man
I live in a garbage can
I turned on the heater and burned off my wiener
I’m Popeye the Sailor Man! TOOT TOOT

Jesus Loves me…

Posted on March 5th, 2014 by admin

Connie sent a few rhymes in.

Jesus loves me cause I’m cool
I smoke pot in Sunday School
Marijuana LSD
Jesus loves me cause I’m me.

I learned this one from my older stoner cousins in the late 70’s

McDonald’s is your kind of place

Posted on February 17th, 2014 by admin

Mark writes:

McDonald’s is your kind of place.
Hamburgers in your face.
French fries up your nose.
Pickles between your toes.
And don’t forget McDonald’s shakes,
made from polluted lakes.
McDonald’s is your kind of place.

Houston, Texas
1973

It’s the boy’s occupation

Posted on February 17th, 2014 by admin

Jennifer says…

It’s the boy’s occupation
To stick his cocktatation
In the girl’s ventilation
To increase the population
Of the younger generation
If you want a demonstration
Please lie down.

I learned this in middle school in dallas, texas in 1996. i didn’t get it at first, but the more i thought about it, the more i got it.

Hate to talk about your momma…

Posted on January 29th, 2014 by admin

Travis says:

I have always had a great love for childhood insult rhymes. Here’s one I only ever heard at my school and no one I know has ever heard it either:”

Hate to talk about your momma but you talk about mine
She got a ring around her titty and a black behind
She jumped out the window with a dick in her hand
Sayin “Look, motherfucker, I’m superman!”

Hate to talk about your momma but she in my class
She got beep-beep titties and a ten-ton ass
She jumped out the window with a dick in her hand
Sayin “Look, motherfucker, I’m superman!”

Hate to talk about your momma, she a good ole soul
She got rawhide titties and a rubber asshole
She jumped out the window with a dick in her hand
Sayin “Look, motherfucker, I’m superman!”

etc. etc….these are the canonical verses, and more were come up with extemporaneously.

Irwin Ave. Elementary, Charlotte NC
circa 1987

 
 
 

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